Have you heard of the royal story of Prince William and Kate?
They broke up in 2007 after 5 years of dating but got back together again after some time. This reminds me of how we still communicate with our ex-boyfriends or girlfriends after a break-up.
Usually we will look at ourselves with self-pity and blame ourselves for it, that is the looking-glass self effect.
This term refers to people shaping themselves based on other people's
perception, which leads the people to reinforce other people's
perspectives on themselves.
People shape themselves based on what other
people perceive and confirm other people's opinion on themselves. The term "looking glass self" was first
used by Cooley in his work, Human Nature and the Social Order in 1902.Instead, we should ponder on our mistakes and improve ourselves to a more positive person.
Usually a relationship ends because of many factors, role relations, paradoxes and spirals.
Both people must complement each other such that the relationship balance and works out.
From what we learned in class, 5 steps to retreat from initmacy.
1. Differentiating- Arguments where its from a selfish point of view
2. Circumscribing- Restricting communication
3. Stagnating-Long periods of silence
4. Avoiding-Physical/Emotional separation
5. Terminating- It's Over!
Some effective ways to get our conversations clear to our partner is to own your message, avoid apologizing, make the messages specific and do not criticize the other party.
Hope you will get some pointers on how to work out a inter-personal relationship!
Challenges in Personal Relationship
ReplyDeleteTo sustain fulfilling personal relationships, it is indeed true that partners rely on communication to deal with internal tensions between themselves and external pressures. The skill with which we manage these challenges is a major influence on the endurance and quality of personal relationships.